You may notice that this account is separate from the one I originally used. I can't seem to access that one, and I felt the need to write, somewhere more private than tumblr, so I simply registered another (sorry Jeff). Does anyone else ever get that feeling occassionally like everything is just out of whack, and there's this massive paradigm shift coming, and you're not sure whether it's good or bad? I feel that right now. Like my life is hanging in this weird limbo, but I can feel a change coming, and I'm not sure what it is or how I'll handle it. After this past weekend in San Francisco with Jeff, Annie, Brian and Mark, I just can't help but feel like SF is where I should be- advancing myself, being closer to friends, and just generally doing more with my life. San Diego just doesn't have much to offer me anymore.  As much as the idea of moving to San Francisco and starting a better life there is exciting, it scares me too. Change isn't something I'm terribly good at. It tends to ramp up my anxiety. And of course there's the typical reservations like, "what if it doesn't work out?" Then I have to remind myself that I'm 23 and this is the time in my life when I SHOULD be taking chances and doing everything I want to do, regardless of whether it'll necessarily work or not.  I guess I'm just in that transition stage of, "holy shit, I'm really serious about moving 500 miles away." Which doesn't sound like much now that I think about it. I'm still in that stage, too, where I don't want to feel like I'm just following Mark up there for the hell of it. I'm doing this for ME, not just for him.  Funny sidenote- my mom is finally reacting in a "Patti" way to the possible move, rather than just acting like I'm some kind of stalker. PS to Jeff: webtape seems to be fervently against me accessing account settings, so that I can change this silly looking picture next to this post. Not sure why that is.


Stacey~ • Mar 1st • 1 comments