January 06, 2009
Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat
For some reason or another, I've been extremely anxious the past couple weeks. I've been a bit of a worry wart, a perfectionist of sorts, so I always feel some kind of intense pressure, but this is definitely different. I've been anxious about work, social situations, my future, money, the list goes on. I really want to see somebody about it, especially because a family history with issues like this, but the fact that I don't have health insurance precludes even that from happening. I know that I'm good at what I do. I'm smart, competent, friendly, but I feel like this unnecessary anxiety is getting in the way of me being happy with this year in my life. This is a year of change, I realize, but I'm leaving a lot up to chance, and if I can't control this, I'm really nervous for the future.
I've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan and Paul Simon recently. It's silly to say that their lyrics provide some comfort, but they do in a way. They don't always write about happy things, but whether their material is happy or sad, it's always sung to an upbeat tune. I feel like maybe that's how I feel. I put on a happy face, but inside there are things that just bother me a lot. I can't explain it.
Blah. I don't know if it helped to write anything down, but I haven't said much aloud, except to Gina. We'll see what happens.
I've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan and Paul Simon recently. It's silly to say that their lyrics provide some comfort, but they do in a way. They don't always write about happy things, but whether their material is happy or sad, it's always sung to an upbeat tune. I feel like maybe that's how I feel. I put on a happy face, but inside there are things that just bother me a lot. I can't explain it.
Blah. I don't know if it helped to write anything down, but I haven't said much aloud, except to Gina. We'll see what happens.
Katy
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Active Discussion
gina • January 6th 2009 • Reply
What Would Weezy Do?
Smoke weed.
Lots of it.
We need to find a way to forget our problems. Sleeping last night was awesome, except in all of my dreams Olin and I were still together. I woke up even sadder than before.
Jeff Micklos • January 7th 2009 • Reply
Bob Dylan < Paul Simon
Friends friends friends, they will make anything better–just talk it out with the right people...
Annie! • January 8th 2009 • Reply
I am glad snoop dogg is a key word.
Katy, feel free to talk about it on friday if you would like, I will be more than happy to listen :)
Katy • January 8th 2009 • Reply
Haha, Gina and I were trying to come up with cheaper alternatives to anxiety medicine and marijuana happened to be one of them. Snoop Dogg seems so mellow all the time, it has to work.
Thanks for offering an ear to listen, Annie. It's hard to talk about it at times, because it only ever feels like a problem if there's some kind of impending pressure being set on me. I really do need to talk about it, though, I think it'll help :)
And Jeff, thanks for the input as well. I agree, everything does feel better when I'm around people who care about me and keep my mind away from worrying about things that shouldn't be worried about. Also, Joni Mitchell is pretty good to listen to as well. I don't know how she'd fit into your equation, but she's definitely up there with Bob and Paul.