March 30, 2009
Losing Myself
I feel that ever since graduating high school I've slowly been losing myself, falling victim to a life of routine and monotony. I used to be a lot more fun and interesting but now all I do is work and go to school. There's so many things I used to do just a couple years ago that I almost never do anymore and not only is it wearing me down, it's turning me into someone I don't want to be. Someone with a boring life, who is stuck on the safety and comfort of routine, who's journal is blank. For the longest time I don't know if I didn't care or if life was passing by too quickly for me to notice. But I've come to the conclusion that this is the reason that, beyond small moments, I haven't been happy. So now, yes, it makes me sad and anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, taking advantage of every possibility. So I've been working on it, I'm tired of being boring. I'm gonna need some help with it though cause it's not as much fun doing things alone. I've started surfing again and it feels great being out in the water. It's freezing but it's refreshing and it's nice to get some exercise.
Thursday: Joe and I went to Shakespeare's Pub to try and win some free Coachella Tickets. Failed. Ran into some old friends, Craig and Monica. We sat around and chatted for a while over a couple drinks and some food. It was really cool seeing them again and having a good conversation. We then went downtown, where Chris and Ashley met us, to check out some clothes and then go bowling. It was way too expensive there so we went to Parkway Bowl. Lauren, Gracelyn, and her boyfriend (I forgot his name) met us there. We bowled, and yelled, and cheered, and offered our balls to the sky, which, if they came in contact with the center pin, resulted in strikes almost every time. Then we got some in-n-out and reminisced on high school and how cool and fun we used to be and the teachers we had. We parted around 2:30 am and while everyone else went home, I went to work early so I could leave early for band practice the next day. It was a great night and I really want to go bowling more often. Friday and Saturday nights, $1.50 per person per game. Let's go.
Friday: After a normal day of work I went surfing for about the 5th time in the past 3 years. I used to go almost every day for 2 years, and then... I dont know... I got too busy I guess, or I just never made time for it. But friday I did and it was liberating. There was no one else anywhere near me (which was a little scary at times), the water was freezing (about 60 degrees), and the waves, although not too big, were rough. I caught maybe 3 waves in the hour I was out there but that's not what I was out there for. I surfed until my arms were too tired to paddle anymore and I decided to head back in. The climb up the cliff was terrible. My board WAS (we'll get to that later) 9'6'' long and too wide for me to carry at my side so I had to carry it on my head. I could feel the blisters forming on my feet as I went up the path and I had to stop 3 times to rest before reaching the top. That day was by far the most labor intensive day my body has had in a long time and it let me know it.
I was super stoked that we actually had band practice. We talk about doing it a lot and it almost never happens, but friday it did. As I got to Jeff's my feet were burning from the climb and I could barely walk. I was also exhausted because of the lack of sleep. We had some new ideas on directions of music and we wrote a couple new songs and they were awesome, I hope we continue to practice and keep this up. We then got food and some wine at Ralph's, where we ran into my dad and were treated poorly by a cashier thinking that some of us were underage and having the others buy alcohol for us. Then to 7-11 where some shady business almost went down, and back to Jeff's where I fell asleep on the couch almost immediately. I woke up at 3:45 am and went home.
Saturday: I went to Salk to do some work and then went down to the beach for a little bit to enjoy the amazing day. Then Chris called me and said he found someone selling ticket's to a Pink Floyd tribute band's show at HOB that night for $7 each. So of course we all got tickets and went to the show. I don't really know many Pink Floyd songs but for $7 I wouldn't pass up the show. During one of the songs this either very drunken or high lady, who was probably 3 times my age, was walking past me when she started to rub my head. "OK this is weird, but she'll leave soon," I thought as she was doing this, but she didn't so I had to intervene. I nicely pulled her hand away but was then caught in a trap when her hand latched onto mine and then her other hand grabbed my other hand. She was then dancing, fingers linked with mine, like vice grips, from which I could not escape. I stood there hoping she would stop soon but she didn't. Hazz yells "YEA MARK, GET IT!" not helping the situation. I was eventually able to free a hand and, shaking my head no, used it to free my other hand and tried to send her on her way. She frowned and disappeared into the crowd, looking back and waving goodbye to me.
Sunday: I woke up and waited for Joe to finish with his family and then we met some coworkers down at the beach. I let one borrow my board because he doesn't have one yet and they went down about an hour before we got there. When we arrived we learned that he had broken my board, which now lay on the sand in 2 pieces. That was my favorite board. Surprisingly, I'm ok with it being broken. I kinda assumed it would happen sooner or later cause it has sustained a lot of damage already and it should be fixable, it just might take a week or two. Ryan apologized profusely, said he would pay for it and I made sure he knew I wasn't upset and to not feel too bad about it. Joe, Ronan, and I headed out anyways, I used one of Joe's boards. Joe forgot his wetsuit and I felt really bad for him cause it was cloudy and windy and of course cold, but he braved it anyways. Props. We surfed till I couldn't feel my feet anymore and I noticed my pinky toes were blue. I was really surprised at how much easier the walk back was and how I didn't get tired at all while surfing, even though we had been out much longer than I was on friday. I felt athletic again. Afterward Joe came over and we watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
All in all it was a good weekend. Even Ryan breaking my board couldn't ruin the good mood I had going.
Sorry for the long post and not supplementing it with photos. I need to start taking pictures again.
Thursday: Joe and I went to Shakespeare's Pub to try and win some free Coachella Tickets. Failed. Ran into some old friends, Craig and Monica. We sat around and chatted for a while over a couple drinks and some food. It was really cool seeing them again and having a good conversation. We then went downtown, where Chris and Ashley met us, to check out some clothes and then go bowling. It was way too expensive there so we went to Parkway Bowl. Lauren, Gracelyn, and her boyfriend (I forgot his name) met us there. We bowled, and yelled, and cheered, and offered our balls to the sky, which, if they came in contact with the center pin, resulted in strikes almost every time. Then we got some in-n-out and reminisced on high school and how cool and fun we used to be and the teachers we had. We parted around 2:30 am and while everyone else went home, I went to work early so I could leave early for band practice the next day. It was a great night and I really want to go bowling more often. Friday and Saturday nights, $1.50 per person per game. Let's go.
Friday: After a normal day of work I went surfing for about the 5th time in the past 3 years. I used to go almost every day for 2 years, and then... I dont know... I got too busy I guess, or I just never made time for it. But friday I did and it was liberating. There was no one else anywhere near me (which was a little scary at times), the water was freezing (about 60 degrees), and the waves, although not too big, were rough. I caught maybe 3 waves in the hour I was out there but that's not what I was out there for. I surfed until my arms were too tired to paddle anymore and I decided to head back in. The climb up the cliff was terrible. My board WAS (we'll get to that later) 9'6'' long and too wide for me to carry at my side so I had to carry it on my head. I could feel the blisters forming on my feet as I went up the path and I had to stop 3 times to rest before reaching the top. That day was by far the most labor intensive day my body has had in a long time and it let me know it.
I was super stoked that we actually had band practice. We talk about doing it a lot and it almost never happens, but friday it did. As I got to Jeff's my feet were burning from the climb and I could barely walk. I was also exhausted because of the lack of sleep. We had some new ideas on directions of music and we wrote a couple new songs and they were awesome, I hope we continue to practice and keep this up. We then got food and some wine at Ralph's, where we ran into my dad and were treated poorly by a cashier thinking that some of us were underage and having the others buy alcohol for us. Then to 7-11 where some shady business almost went down, and back to Jeff's where I fell asleep on the couch almost immediately. I woke up at 3:45 am and went home.
Saturday: I went to Salk to do some work and then went down to the beach for a little bit to enjoy the amazing day. Then Chris called me and said he found someone selling ticket's to a Pink Floyd tribute band's show at HOB that night for $7 each. So of course we all got tickets and went to the show. I don't really know many Pink Floyd songs but for $7 I wouldn't pass up the show. During one of the songs this either very drunken or high lady, who was probably 3 times my age, was walking past me when she started to rub my head. "OK this is weird, but she'll leave soon," I thought as she was doing this, but she didn't so I had to intervene. I nicely pulled her hand away but was then caught in a trap when her hand latched onto mine and then her other hand grabbed my other hand. She was then dancing, fingers linked with mine, like vice grips, from which I could not escape. I stood there hoping she would stop soon but she didn't. Hazz yells "YEA MARK, GET IT!" not helping the situation. I was eventually able to free a hand and, shaking my head no, used it to free my other hand and tried to send her on her way. She frowned and disappeared into the crowd, looking back and waving goodbye to me.
Sunday: I woke up and waited for Joe to finish with his family and then we met some coworkers down at the beach. I let one borrow my board because he doesn't have one yet and they went down about an hour before we got there. When we arrived we learned that he had broken my board, which now lay on the sand in 2 pieces. That was my favorite board. Surprisingly, I'm ok with it being broken. I kinda assumed it would happen sooner or later cause it has sustained a lot of damage already and it should be fixable, it just might take a week or two. Ryan apologized profusely, said he would pay for it and I made sure he knew I wasn't upset and to not feel too bad about it. Joe, Ronan, and I headed out anyways, I used one of Joe's boards. Joe forgot his wetsuit and I felt really bad for him cause it was cloudy and windy and of course cold, but he braved it anyways. Props. We surfed till I couldn't feel my feet anymore and I noticed my pinky toes were blue. I was really surprised at how much easier the walk back was and how I didn't get tired at all while surfing, even though we had been out much longer than I was on friday. I felt athletic again. Afterward Joe came over and we watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
All in all it was a good weekend. Even Ryan breaking my board couldn't ruin the good mood I had going.
Sorry for the long post and not supplementing it with photos. I need to start taking pictures again.
Mark
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Active Discussion
gina • March 30th 2009 • Reply
Congrats on the physical activity!
I'm sure camping this weekend will help restore some of your adventurous spirit.