A divided self needs to be accomplished,
one awake and productive,
the other,
fallen into lethargy, simply sleeps
(preferably for more than three hours.)
But the feeling of a dream does not surpass the pound,
for my muscle decides to wake up and exercise
in order to make up for the lack of I've done.
And I am left worrying,
but at least something is moving,
or, pumping
(sometimes too fast.)

The persistent worries are
somewhat eased by temporary promises of tomorrow,
for they are only used to get through the night.
Tomorrow starts again in a cup.
The line goes down, and I go up.

I keep dreaming
I keep making lists
I keep trying to study
I keep trying to dreaming
I keep making study
I keep dreaming lists
I keep dreamakingttying
AndIkeepIcant

F O C U S

Only 31 boxes formed and bound by deadlines are complete.
I can only feel the dense pound when I want to sleep
I make temporary promises of tomorrow,
just to feel somewhat at ease,
Yet, tomorrow starts again with a cup.
And I know I'll still feel the pound over the dream.

I'm not dead, I'm just busy. 

Some pix with film camera:

        

Just finishing the roll

STRESS IS HERE AND IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!

I'm feeling the wrath of 21 units, and have had a few breakdowns within the past two 

weeks. BUT I need to FOCUS so I can get to where I want to go!

SO I am introducing, MAYDAYMAYDAY!

The calender I made (although not finished) with a few missing deadlines and work 

schedules. But I only eat schoolwork for dinner, because I eat San Francisco for dessert. 

There are a few more calenders to come, although June is just going to be filled with fun 

things before I leave (party?) and trips to find a place to live. Anyway, too many things 

to do, so little sleep, too much caffeine that I want to rid myself of. I want to Sleep, I 

want to see my sisters, I want school to be over, but I want to everything to end well! 

The other night marked the third night working on my art history painting. TWO nights 

painting with Jeff, and one night painting alone. A little taste of what played at random 

during night #3 (I still enjoy some portishead). 

And again, I will just say 

CONGRATULATIONS!

Alcoholic Vervet Monkeys! - Weird Nature - BBC animals by BBCWorldwide on YouTube

I first saw this video maybe two years ago and just fell in love. Now if only I could get one of these as a pet...

It's been a crazy long time since I wrote a blog out, so I'm just going
to go for it.  I don't feel like recapping my entire life here, so I'm
just going to write what comes to mind when it comes to mind and stop
when I get sick of typing. 

Saturday was Katy's birthday (celebration).  However, when she woke up
and came downstairs I for some reason decided to wish her happy
birthday.  Way to go, Gina.  Way to go.  It doesn't make me feel so bad
because Janine went out of her way to send Katy a 'happy birthday' text,
so at least I'm not alone in my utter stupidity.  Anyway, Jhaj, Kitty
Kat, and myself went to Fashion Valley to try to find Katy a new
birthday dress.  We started at Bloomingdale's which was probably a
really bad idea because Katy almost bought an $80 dress.  However, my
Boucher-frugality intervened and I convinced her to put them on hold
while we shopped around.  She ended up finding something way cheaper,
just as cute, and much more 70s at H&M.  So congrats to me on
outsmarting overpriced clothing stores!  I am ridiculously poor, so I
just bought some three dollar purple nail polish, new lip gloss, and
real beautiful/real cheap earrings to spice up an outfit that I have
already worn 1000 times.  These days you gotta shop smarter.  Katy's
friend Ashley joined us about halfway through.  Last time I met her I
got this feeling she hated me, but this time I just got the feeling of
dislike, so at least the degree has lessened.  Janine said it's probably
just that we both have strong personalities, so it creates some
discomfort.  I will agree with that.  But you know, Ashley laughed at a
couple of my jokes, and that's how I gauge if someone likes me or not,
so at least we know some progress is being made.

Okay, so after shopping we went home, got ready, and met J and A for
dinner at Karl Strauss downtown.  I've never been there before and had
never actually even known that it existed, but I was real happy with the
choice of venue because it was real nice.  They had pretty delicious
food too, and (this is a pretty huge statement for me to make) . . .
probably the best bacon I've ever had.  Now, this is a somewhat tricky
statement and there are strings attached.  The bacon was beer-brined and
seasoned, and tasted perfect on my sandwich, but was also perfect when I
ate it by itself.  HOWEVER, the seasons made it much more of a
dinner/lunch bacon than a breakfast bacon.  It was pretty meaty too, and
I like my breakfast bacon to be a little thinner and perfectly crisp. 
It's like alcohol: I'll still give it five stars, but suggest only
eating it after 12 pm.  Okay, bacon review aside, we had a nice time. 
Our waitress was pretty dumb and kinda bitchy, but Janine's former
manager works there now and he gave us half off our bill.  SWEET.  We
only had to pay $13 a piece, including tax and tip.  There were three
drinks on that bill too, mind you. 

So after our rousing dinner/photo session (which is what birthdays with
the sisters always seem to turn into), J, K, and I went to U-31 to meet
up with Katy's friends and celebrate.  Well, it turns out U-31 is quite
the hot spot, and when we got there, there was meager line forming. 
Luckily we got inside quickly, but some people had to wait for about
half an hour.  I would like to use this spot to say that if you are
complaining about waiting in line to get into a bar and you are younger
than 26, you need to shut up and deeeeal with it.  You're young, that's
what happens when you go to bars/clubs.  Just deal with it bitches. 
N-E-WAYZZ, the bartender that I want to marry was there so that was
great, but the DJ was terrible, so that was not so great.  He played
maybe ten songs I knew all night and was really bad at even choosing
good techno.  If no one on the dance floor is moving, that's not a good
sign.  But whatevs, Katy was happy and that's all that matters.

BUT we're going to make up for the lack of dancing next Saturday by
going to Henry's.  Hopefully we'll run int some Navy SEALs again, like
say, I don't know, Larsen Jensen?



Okay, here are things I need to do:

--get tattoo

--write 2 essays

--finish all my reading for my classes

--go to Disneyland for the last time?

--plan out my Great American Roadtrip/Trip to Lollapalooza (which is the
same exact vacation)

--get lots of monies to do these fun things



If anyone knows some sort of part time job I could have, that would be
sweet.



Oh, also, before I cut out, my boss Missy got transferred to another
store, and now my old ASM (who everyone had some problems with...) is
our new store manager.  My life doesn't seem real sometimes.


Oh yeah, and
 
                    HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATY!

pop tarts kid dancing, wake up by dancingpoptartskid on YouTube

If this doesn't make you smile, you are probably related to Dick Cheney.